the difference between your reproductive story and your future child’s conception story

Confession it took me a while to realise this.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
As an intended parent and or parent of a DE conceived child you've jumped many hurdles and made difficult decisions about your pathway to parenthood.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
It's hard not to let that journey dominate your thoughts.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
I beleive it's an important step forward to separate your reproductive story from your child's conception story. ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
From my perspective my reproductive story goes something like this: I borrowed one tiny cell from a donor and then my body built a baby. We might not share genetics but I am 100% mother. ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
We are learning more from donor conceived people who are now adults and expressing a differing perspective about their conception story.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
The donor to them is the missing puzzle piece to 50% of their genetic history.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
To a child navigating their conception story the perspective is wildly different.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
DCP perspective can differ around the 'tiny donated cell'. The significance that can often be downplayed by intended parents (definitely guilty of that) around the donated egg, becomes the dominant feature from their perspective.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
There may be a lot of curiosity about the biological mother. Do I have similar traits, features, likes, strengths and weaknesses? ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
I invite al DE (intended) parents to consider this and embrace all curiosity.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
This is not a reflection of your parenting. This doesn't mean that your child loves you any less.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
This is healthy curiosity.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Let's open up the conversation. ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Welcome and embrace questions and support curiosity.​​​​​​​​

Previous
Previous

the experiences from donor conceived people.​​​​​​​​

Next
Next

Think you can’t get pregnant over 45?